23rd PSALM Dieters Prayer
 

Strict is my diet, I must not want.

It maketh me to lie down hungry.

It leadeth me past the confectioners

It trieth my willpower.

It leadeth me in the paths of starvation for my figures sake.

Yea though I walk through the aisles of the pastry department,

I will buy no sweet rolls for they are fattening.

The cakes and pies they tempt me.

Before me is a table set with green beans and lettuce.

I filleth my stomach with liquids.

My days quote runneth over.

Surely calories and weight charts will follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the fast of scales forever!